Janelle ZMJ

2010-04-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

Day 1 of ...

So far so good, work is pretty smooth on the first day.
But like i mentioned, it was only the first day and i'm hoping that everyday would be as smooth as today. Well, not exactly to be entirely like today as my mood turned sour during the last hour before knocking off. Seriously, that was the longest hour i had ever experienced. I fought so hard against my tears and whenever it felt like gushing out, i would take a deep deep breath. Didn't help much though.

It would be a lie if i told you that i'm fine.
So stop asking because in actual fact, i'm not.
Not even a tiny bit near to being fine.
I'm very upset and felt like crying so much. Even as i'm typing this, i can feel that my tears are about to roll.

I have the strong urge of wondering around, just walk around and be alone. I've not eaten the whole day but knowing that i've to. Its not that i'm not hungry but does it helps? I'm super duper hungry and my stomach kept growling but i've no appetite at all. But forced myself to cook Campbell soup, at least to consume some food.

I hate people lying to me. But who loves it anyway?

---Quoted from The Vampire Diaries---

Dear diary,

Love bites.
Sometimes it can make you feel like it's the greatest thing in the world.
It can make you feel safe.
It can make you forget everything, like you could start all over again.
But love can also make you feel out of control.
Scared, like it's eating away at you till there's nothing left.
Love really sucks

---Unquote---

Good night.

2010-04-27T19:42:00.004+08:00

I've so much things running in my mind right now.
I've so much to say, so much to type but how should i start?
Is it alright to spill it all out? Sigh.

Anyway, tomorrow will be my first day of work with the new company.
I'm so nervous and afraid. Will it goes smoothly? At this point of time, your words of encouragement would be a great help to me. Like a strength given to me. But i doubt that i can ever hear that.

How do i suppress the feeling of being upset?
I've told myself to be stronger but seriously, 'strong' is a huge word. There are many questions needed to be answered.
But by who?

2010-03-30T21:32:00.005+08:00

While i was having my shower today, i told myself that i will definitely update. In fact, i have always been telling myself this on every other day but whenever i turned on the laptop, i would be so busy surfing the net or watching videos till becoming too lazy to do so. This explains why am i absent for so long but anyway i'm once again back! (Oh, how many times have i actually said this?)

P/S: I'm afraid that this might be a wordy post.

For the past twenty over days while i was away, life still goes on pretty well for me. How about you? Hope all is well with you guys! ;)

Shall i briefly summarise on what have i been doing so far?

1) I had completed my last exam and am still waiting for the result as well as to collect the certificate. So am i considered as 'semi-graduated' from the whole course now? Well, i guess it's time to decide on which course do i want to take for the next level. And as usual, i'll still be taking part time programme but i have to really admit that having to attend lessons after work is damn tiring! Seriously, it was not easy to juggle between both. This is when 'Time Management' has to play a part.

2)Tendered my resignation letter a month ago and tomorrow will be the last day of my service. I want to explore around and take a look at what does the market has to offer now, knowing that it's very difficult to find a job that you really have interest in but i still hope to find one! There might is no such thing as 'interest' in reality but still, i want to try! Like i mentioned before, i truly envy those people who holds a job that they're interested in. Count yourself lucky! (Baby C is one of them, he told me that he loves his job!) ;)

3) Baby C and i signed up for a wedding photo package where we'll be doing it in Taiwan as their company is from there as well. There's no expiry date for that package so we'll either shoot it next year after our ROM or maybe 4-5 years later when we've decided to have our customary wedding. But no specific decision was made yet. Anyway, they were having a booth at Suntec Convention Hall during the last weekend. If you're interested, check it out here.

4) Also during the last weekend, we caught the movie 'Greenzone'. Nice fast paced action movie about Iraq and US. Not forgetting to mention that Matt Damon acted really well in it too. His movies are great!

5) Last but not least, my handphone was sent for servicing. Sigh. Wondering why? OK it was embarrassing! I almost fell while walking down the flight of stairs at the overhead bridge, it was probably slippery as it rained that day and my immediate reaction was to quickly grab hold of the railing. (Right?) So what was the main point?? I was holding on to my phone as well! Did you get what i'm referring to?? In a split second, i witnessed how it flew out of the bridge and landed on to the road side below. Rushed down to pick it up and apparently it still works perfectly fine except for one button but it was also disfigured with scratches and such!! Nevertheless, it also proved that SE Satio is durable and (my 'judgement' from this fall) could withstand the great impact from high heights!!
Anyway, it's ready for collection tomorrow!

Alright, i'm off to bed now!
Good night friends.

Regards,
ZMJ

2010-03-08T02:54:00.008+08:00

HEY! I'm back!
Back from nowhere but to blog
as i realised that i've been away for far too long.

Everything is pretty much the same during this period except for some downs. I mean ya, that's how life is supposed to be isnt it? It's quite impossible for ones life to aways be on the upper side right? But not to worry, i'm quite sure that things will be back to normal and fine!!

While on a random note, i've decided to switch career with having a few options in mind but need to give it a deep thought before focusing on it. Besides that, i went to the Suntec Career and Education Fair with C today. Quite interesting as you get to expose to different types of job availabilty and also exposed to many private schools there. I've sort of decided on taking Diploma in Psychology since i'm graduating from my Certificate course in BA this month but it's still in consideration.

Anyway, I don't know how many people and who might come across my website (Probably there is no one reading it). But if you do happen to be here and i've yet to update my post, you might want to check out on Twitter as i'll be twitt-ing actively. It can be found on the right side of my blog, above the tagboard.
Of course, this only applies if you're curious/interested to know what am i exactly doing or my thoughts at that point of time.

Ok, good night.
I'll be back to update tomorrow? ;)

Regards,
Meijuan

2010-02-14T17:47:00.003+08:00

Happy lunar new year!
May everyone be happy, receive many angpows
and win lots of money on mahjong, blackjack, daidee or whatever kinds of games there are.
Most importantly, enjoy your day!

I'm now at my relative place to bainian. Many nice food!
I'll be back.

Loves,
Meijuan

2010-02-13T17:12:00.003+08:00

Chinese New Year Eve.

It's supposed to be something wonderful and enjoyable but no, i'm not happy today. Or should i say that i've never been happy for quite some time. There are so many problems so many things happening around. Nobody knows and i can tell no one.

So anyway, have been accompanying my mother to the Ntuc for the past few days or to be exact, we went there for 3 consecutive days. I think we've spent almost $300 on groceries. Funny thing is, there are only the 2 of us in the house but she kept buying and our fridge goes from empty to full. I guess that is how the festive works? More food in the kitchen is good for CNY?

Have a happy reunion dinner with your family and loved ones.

2010-02-10T01:22:00.004+08:00

I have been super busy at work for the whole of last week. It had pretty much used up lots of my energy and brain juice. A total hectic and crazy week. Although yesterday was also a busy day but i still managed to slack a little. A little was good enough So it wasn't that bad, thank god.

And as for today, i was on leave and slept in till the afternoon. Oh my, the feeling was absolutely great! How i wish i can do this for as long as i want, asking for the impossible. Having to work is a must but also no doubt that having to work is sickening. Of course, this will not be a factor if you do love and enjoy your job. Congratulations then if that is the case, as I've yet to come across mine.

Anyway, CNY goodies have been bought fully but still lacking of Ba Kwa. Probably getting it within these few days? However, the main thing is that i've yet to complete the spring cleaning with only few days left. No time no time!

Alright, my eyes are getting itchy and sleepy now.

Good night people.
I will be back.

Loves,
Meijuan

2010-02-05T12:41:00.003+08:00

Ever felt envious of others?
I believe everyone did.
Be it about others having a good education, good career, good health, happy family, wonderful lifestyle, beautifully grown, living blissfully, nice house etc etc.
There are too many factors whereby a human being can be envious of and the list will just go on and on. As what i said, it is part of our human nature isn't it?
Even so, we still have to strive hard towards our goal and who knows that there might be a change of luck in future. Till then, it could be others being envious of us instead.

But anyway, i've yet to buy CNY clothes, yet to do spring cleaning of the house, yet to buy CNY goodies and yet to cut as well as dye my hair. Technically, lets say that i've not started any preparation! Seriously, there isn't much time left.

On a side note, i was so busy at work these few days. Lots of changes, lots of new ideas and it meant double work.

So all in all, enjoy your weekend!
Also not to forget about spring cleaning!

Loves,
Janelle

2010-01-31T23:49:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling so sleepy now.
Woke up very early in the morning and headed down to Starhub as baby's iphone was having some problems. He was so impaitent and kept bugging me up!

So after that we had our lunch, went back to his place all the way till night time then i came home. Though there wasnt much activities but i'm so tired due to lacking of sleeping.

Uploaded some photos taken at Airport as mentioned in the previous post, via his iphone.

I personally love this photo, the heart shape looks sweet. Located near T2's Starbucks.

Good night!

Loves,
Janelle

2010-01-30T23:11:00.001+08:00

Yesterday we went to changi airport for dinner after knocking off from work and upon reaching, we heard lots of screams.
As a human being who might be curious, we went up to take a look, thinking which big shot celebrity is coming to Singapore and realised that it was one of the korean boy idol group, SHINee, whom was arriving. Wow, there were so many fans screaming and shouting on top of their voices man. And yeah, we caught a glimpse of those idols too as they were exiting.

Anyway we had a wonderful dinner there but i think it could be better.

I dont know why but gong to the airport always give me the urge of going overseas.
Do you guys feel that way as well?

Loves,
Janelle zmj

2010-01-27T16:47:00.004+08:00

(2nd post of the day)

Have no idea why am i blogging again but i'm sure that this post will definitely be random and makes no sense.

During CNY, our office is close for the first week, which means i can rest and enjoy from 15-19 Feb! And then work will resume on 22 Feb 2010. Even so, one week will sure be over sooner than i thought. At least it's better than none?

I'll probably make a quick stop at my Secondary school during that period.
Since it closes on weekends and weekdays i have to work. So this is the good and only time to take a look at how much changes had taken place. Furthermore, i'm also going over to visit my Grandfather as he lives nearby.

One thing to be sure, i'm missing my Grandfather.
Stay healthy.

2010-01-27T11:07:00.006+08:00

I'm in the office now, getting all bored and restless although there are still some things which are left undone. But those matters can wait, it's not that urgent. As a matter of fact that i've decided to do a short update.

And also as a matter of fact that today marks our 3rd year anniversary. How fast time passes and i'm glad that we've gone this far but of course to believe that we've many more years to come. It's often said that 'forever' is a rare word to be seen in the real word but nevertheless, i still hope and wish that our relationship and our love will be forever. Thank you my love, Charles Lim.

Anyway, supposed to have a nice dinner with him but i'm having night classes after work. What makes it worst is that i cannot skip today's lesson! Shall make it up to him tomorrow instead. ;)

On a random side note, i'm back on my heels frenzy and bought another few more pairs to be added into my 'heels family'. (I know i should to be thrifty but who can resist to pretty heels??)

Alright, would better be back to work.

Loves,
Zhen Meijuan

2010-01-25T22:32:00.004+08:00

This will be my first post blogging through my phone.
Ok i know it's like so 'sua gu' but i'm still exploring it.

So far so good, the pros are the awesome 12.1 megapixel camera plus i personally think that the touch screen sensitivity is just right. Plus the phone is very light! I was seriously shocked when first held it as the phone looks big so i'm expecting to be heavy. I was wrong to judge it by its look.

But obviously there is no perfect phone so SE Satio is not an exception. As for the cons, i dont like how it works when viewing photos in the File Manager. There isnt any thumbnail view, so the only way is to open it one by one. Or maybe there are some other ways that i've yet to discover?

Anyway, i'm sure there will be more pros or cons once i'm familiar with it.

For now, i'm off to bed.

Good night everyone.
Good night baby C.
He's falling asleep beside me.

2010-01-24T23:34:00.004+08:00

This time round i think i've been away from blogging long enough.

Apparently, it's still the same for everything as nothing much had taken place lately. Just basically having to work on weekdays and then will be out with friends on weekend.

But i'm really looking forward to Chinese New Year in about 3 weeks time? I love this festive season whereby everyone will gather on this particular occasion with all those nice yummy goodies and of course our beloved red packets! And i can really feel the joy from everyone around me which makes me even happier. As i'm typing and by the thought of it, i'm craving for Ba Gua right now!

Anyway last night, baby and i caught the movie 'Tooth Fairy' by Dwayne Johnson whom is also the (we will we will rock you) The Rock ex-wrestler. Ok, it's a good show with many funny moments but i personally think that it could be better. It was like a show with good laugh but will tends to forget about it in a few weeks time. You get what i'm referring to? Though it wasn't a memorable kind of show but it's still worth the money to watch. I'll probably rate it 3.5 out of 5.

The next movie i'm hoping to catch soon is 'Hachiko: A Dog's Story'. This heartwarming true story is an American adaptation of a Japanese tale about a loyal dog that would accompany his master to the train station every day and return each afternoon to greet him after work. Sadly his master departs one day and never returns to the station but the dog faithfully returns to the same spot at the station every day for the next nine years to wait for his beloved master. I think i'm going to cry in the cinema.

Also yesterday, we went to re-contract my line and bought a new phone, SE Satio.

Alright it's getting late now.
Good night.
See you soon? Hope so. ;)

Loves,
JZMJ

2010-01-22T01:42:00.000+08:00

Be back soon! ;)

2010-01-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

So this time round, how long have i been away from blogging?
Lets see. Ok, only about a week since the last post but why does it seems to feel more than that? I thought it was at least two weeks or so!

Alright anyway, i've uploaded some photos which were taken recently and i really meant it by saying only some. There are actually many more photos but all on facebook. View it from there if you're interested.

I had to say that it was indeed an enjoyable and great weekend with my love ones and friends.

Wei cong's birthday celebration at Sabai Sabai on 8 Jan 2010.

And then, these photos below were taken during my cousins' nights out on 1 Jan 2010.

Hey! I'm on leave today but back to work tomorrow.
I guess my Monday blues will probably falls on a Tuesday.

Time to say goodbyeeeeeeee.
Till the next time i update, do take care.

Good night!

Loves,
ZMJ Janelle

2010-01-03T05:55:00.004+08:00

A brand new year, a brand new start.

The long weekend will be over soon and then back to normal working routine. I've to really get my time adjusted asap.

I've also decided to increase the amount of money i usually save every month as i'm planning for a trip to Korea. Probably during October when it's their autumn season. I heard and researched that the scenery is beautiful! Envy those people whom have been there!

It means having to be extra thrifty.
Hopefully this can be done.

Good night/morning.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-12-31T19:41:00.002+08:00

Today marks the last day of 2009.
How do you fare 2009? It is a good or a bad one?

No matter what, lets all hope that 2010 will be a better year.
I'm really looking forward to it!

Anyway uploaded some photos that were taken during baby's cousin wedding dinner on 26 Dec 09.

2009-12-26T03:56:00.002+08:00

Since it's after midnight of 25th December 2009, which means Christmas is over.
Yet not forgetting to wish my dear friends and of course myself a Happy Belated Merry Christmas.

And soon comes the wonderful New Year!
2010!

As i'm really sleepy, so good night for now.
Have to attend baby's cousin wedding dinner tomorrow.

I'll be back to update more.

Loves,
ZMJ

2009-12-20T00:37:00.003+08:00

Wanting to see you, is my mistake.
To think that i expected the same.

Never did i say it was enough.
Never did i had enough of you.

It seems like having this thought is my mistake.

I felt so hurt this time round, so different from usual.
Loving you so much doesnt seems to help anymore.

2009-12-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

My handphone went dead flat since Friday night.

Why didn't i get it charged?
Because i left my charger in the office and i don't have a spare one at home.
Worse still, my mum uses different handphone brand as mine!
Lesson learnt, i'll buy another to keep in the office instead.

But i'm going to borrow baby's mum charger tomorrow at his place.

Finally! I'll get to use it tomorrow.
Living without a phone is definitely a great torture!

2009-12-12T04:31:00.004+08:00

OK i know!
In the previous post, i said that i would upload photos the following day but i didn't. So alright, I'm here to upload it now but still, exclusive of those taken during the trip to Zoo with baby as there are too many photos.

Following uploaded ones will be some shots of Bk in class on Monday and some shots of Wednesday's nights out.
But more photos can be found on my Facebook.

Photos:

Guess what was she doing in this photo? Studying? No!
She's busy sms-ing! Ha ha.

The person behind her is one of our classmates, Kelvin.
Camera shy as well.

She had supposedly posed nicely for this shot but thought i didn't off the flashlight. So she was saying, "You never off the flashlight!".
This explains why.

Taken on Wednesday night, 16 Dec 09 at Neverland with Aud, Fung, Ying and Ying's mum.

And then headed to the second destination on the same night to Sabai Sabai.

Not forgetting my baby C.

Good night.
I'll be back soon.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-12-08T00:49:00.003+08:00

Am i away for too long?
I guess so.

I will be uploading photos of my trip to the Singapore Zoo with baby on 26 Nov as well as photos from the gathering which I had with my ex-classmates on 3 Dec. Last but not least, i took a few photos of Bk in class today so that will be uploaded as well.

Aha, but not now!
Because I am really tired after all the shit at work and night class.

I need to catch some sleep soon, even though I am still left with 6 hours but it is absolutely not enough!

Good night.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-11-30T00:47:00.003+08:00

Baby and i went to the Zoo on last Thursday and we indeed had fun. It was fun exploring the place, fun watching the animal shows, fun observing the animals during their feed time and also fun looking at how the white rhino got aggressive and fight its own kind. So all in all, we had FUN!

And on Friday it was eelin's baby girl 1st month celebration, met up with quan and yuru to Toyrus to get the present. But didn't manage to go to eelin's place as baby and i had relatives gathering dinner. My apologies ladies.

It feels great looking at how cute all of my friends' babies are!
May all of them be healthy, pretty/handsome and have a bright future. :)

Good night people.
I hate to say it but weekend is over!

Monday blues approaching..

Loves,
Meijuan

2009-11-25T00:54:00.006+08:00

Why isn't there any Build-To-Order flat in Tampines or maybe in the east side now?

We want to apply for a flat but there is only punngol area which we're not keen as we wish to live near our parents. Especially when my mother will be living alone by then. Hopefully the government decided to develop one here, though i know Tampines is running out of land. And besides that, they have this Design, Build & Sell Scheme(DBSS), probably another kind of thing but i'm not sure what is it exactly yet.
Anyway, Tampines is the perfect neighbourhood!

Will find our more during the weekend, right now i just want to go to bed as soon as possible.

On a side note, i'll be seeing baby tomorrow!
There is this indescribable chemistry between us, which is amazing and it seems to be growing as well! I love him.
Good night!

Loves,
Janelle

2009-11-23T17:07:00.002+08:00

I'm going to do a quick and short update.

Monday blue is the exact word to use now, especially when i'm feeling tired and restless as well.

The clock ticks 5.27pm pm and i'm all ready to leave at 6pm instead of the usual 6.30pm as my new module of the course starts today. Not exactly looking forward to it but hope everything goes well. Better to be a good lecturer this time round!

On a side note, i've posted on Facebook that i'm going to the Zoo soon, since it has been more than 3 years that i last stepped in. So, it will be real soon! Planning to do so on this Thursday as i've taken leave (If the weather allows me to do so as well).

I'm missing my lovely boyfriend.
Christmas and new year approaching, followed by the day that marks our 3rd year in January.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-11-17T14:36:00.006+08:00

What's up with my life for the whole of last week?
Probably nothing much, have been very busy working as usual. Stressful too but duh, it's hard to avoid once you've stepped into the working society.

Unfortunately, i'm down with flu after being caught in the rain on last Friday and the feeling really sucks man.

Oh yes! Last Thursday, baby and i went over to Aranda Country Club for Clara's 1st year old birthday. I swear Clara is damn cute though i did not have the chance to carry her that day! ;)

Gbelle and her lovely daughter, Clara.

And last Saturday, went to Nana for Teri's advance birthday celebration.
I'm only uploading a few photos, more can be found on my facebook.

Not forgetting my baby boy. =)

Loves,
Janelle

2009-11-08T14:03:00.002+08:00

Again, i was away from my blog for quite sometime.
Forgive me for doing so as i'm really busy, though i know this wasnt an excuse.

And yes, my exam for this module was over but there are another 2 more modules to go. I couldnt wait till i graduate from it and next will be diploma, together with Bk.

I hate to say but i'm seriously under lots and lots of stress lately. Enduring is what i'm currently doing. I've to pave my own way, in order to have a smooth road for myself and my family in future.

Anyway, yesterday went over to East coast to meet up with baby's camp mates and only managed to sleep almost dawn. I was really tired and couldnt stop ywaning all the way. I was probably looking very pale as well, his friends was asking if i'm sick because i looked like i was dying.

Wanted to take photos but it was low batt.
Lastly, i'm so enthu into getting Sony Ericsson Satio! ;)

Loves,
Janelle

2009-10-29T01:46:00.004+08:00

We attended Ong's wedding on last Sunday together with baby and his camp mates. Which they also made plans to go out after the dinner and so, we went to Neverland to drink. It was a fun and pleasant one. Luckily, i took leave on Monday as i only managed to sleep in the morning. If not, i'm sure to go into the office like a walking zombie!

As to mention a walking zombie, i think i looked like one today. I was so damn tired to the extend that i actually dozed off quite a number of times while doing my things, but for a few seconds only. And when i stood up to take a cup of water or to visit the washroom, i was dragging myself to it. It was really a great torture to force myself awake.

Sigh, and it's 2am now.
I can foresee that tomorrow will be another walking zombie day.

Good night people, or to be exact, good morning.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-10-20T02:50:00.006+08:00

I was really busy and trust me, it has been very hectic for the past 2 weeks.

Busy working till almost dawn on certain days and busy completing my assignment plus all the shit nonsense stuff. Oh man, I've survived it. Thank god!

But besides that, how could i not mention that i had a great Friday night at Club Ratchada with my lovely ladies.

And my baby boy.

Good night people.
It's very late now as i'm working tomorrow.

I'll be back!

Loves,
Janelle

2009-10-10T04:05:00.004+08:00

Have not been updating for quite some time.

Nothing new happened, working and schooling as usual.
Was glad that I managed to pass my recent module exam, though it wasnt with flying colours.

My baby boy is right here with me now.
And i love him!

2009-09-27T20:05:00.007+08:00

F1 weekend! Well, it's coming to an end too.
And on Friday, I could hear the F1 cars sound at my workplace and just by hearing it, i felt the excitement about the whole event.

Anyway, I finally had my hair dyed at Snip Avenue after so many many months with my black roots being so obvious and looking so ugly. On the side note, I'm so frustrated now by how fast weekend passes! How i wish tomorrow is a public holiday instead of another working day. Weekend certainly needs to be extended!

Besides that, Congratulations on Mabel's baby arrival! I am going to visit her at the hospital on this coming Tuesday. =)

Last but not least, today also marks our 2 years and 8 months anniversary. Soon without realising, it will be 3 years.

It's getting late, so good night.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-09-24T00:37:00.007+08:00

It was a tiring and busy day, with all the work and part time studies. New module started, till now everything is fne.

Anyway some photos taken last Sat at baby's place before going out. Please pardon my messy hair.

I couldnt hold on any longer, eyes are getting heavier!
Another working day tomorrow... ...

Good night!

Loves,
Janelle

2009-09-20T23:57:00.003+08:00

Last night went to drink at Boatquay with baby and his friends and slept at nearly 6am. This afternoon, we went to Orchid country club to attend YingCai and MeiZhen's solemnization. Congratulations and wish you both a blissful marriage! :)

While tomorrow, mummy suggested to go out, so baby and i will accompany her.

Good night!

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-09-15T00:39:00.002+08:00

Here i am missing my baby boy in every possible ways.
He's the most adorable person.
Loving him, like how it has always been.

2009-09-13T17:37:00.001+08:00

Kept it cool yet it came non stop blowing.
It will get blown away soon anyway.
Ashes is all what will be left.
Seeing it gone one by one and without realising, you're the only survivor in the wild.

Merry-go-round.

2009-09-13T05:24:00.000+08:00

Just came back home after bowling with mum and baby but I did not join in the game. Baby had 4 strikes in a row despite having injury, while mum did well as well. I could say that both of them played better than last week. At least they enjoyed themselves.

I am really very sleepy now, it's almost 5.45am now and i have to wake up at 3pm.

Loves,
ZMJ

2009-09-06T14:48:00.000+08:00

I hate some kind of fuckers.
Want to play tough, i'll play along.
Fucking sick and hate.

2009-09-06T13:29:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was mummy's birthday so I cooked dinner for her and baby. Went to Ntuc with baby and decided to cook long beans with minced meat, mo po dou fu and honey garlic chicken.

After that, our last minute decision was to make a trip down to E-hub for bowling.
Yes, we had a great time, although we didnt go to anywhere interesting.

And for today, it's baby's sister, Charmaine, birthday!
Will be going over to their place later.

Happy Birthday!

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-09-02T23:14:00.001+08:00

In this split second, I felt like leaving this world. I couldnt handle everything and it doesnt seems to have a way out. But not to worry as I really dont have the courage to do it. I understood that life is precious, many people wish to live longer but they cant due to illness or maybe other reasons. But for us, we can live so much longer yet we choose to shorten it.

Though suicide is really something stupid, but did you guys ever thought of how much courage do you need?
How much courage do you need if you wish to jump down from a 20th storey tall building and end up having broken spine, legs, hands or skull being split open? How much courage do you need if you wish to slit your throat or wrist and having to die in a slow and torturing method? How much courage do you need if you wish to take in all the pills and having to feel the side effect first before dying? Last but not least, how much courage do you ever need, knowing that you'll never be able to see your family and friends?

I knew that such action is unforgiveable but their courage is truely admirable.
However, please note that if you committed suicide and failed to die, you'll be charged by the police as it is an offence.

Alright, just being a little emotional but I'm alright now after typing my feelings down.
No matter what happens, I'll find a solution to it as promised.
Suicide will never be my option anymore.

Good night pals.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-09-01T01:06:00.001+08:00

It's intolerable now.
I couldn't.

2009-08-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

It was a miracle that I did not feel uncontrollably tired while working, as a matter of fact that I slept very late last night. Maybe that one cup of coffee which I had in the morning, kept me awake. But now, as I am typing each and every letter, my eyes felt heavier and heavier. Finally, the tiredness kicks in.

At this rate, I will definitely fall asleep within 20-30 seconds later and this shows how worn out am I now.

Good night pals &
Good night babyboy.

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-08-24T15:02:00.001+08:00

Was at baby's place for the past weekend and now I'm missing him.
It felt wierd having to wake up without him beside today.
Hopefully it will be Friday soon.

Loves,
Janelle

2009-08-23T23:17:00.000+08:00

It was a lovely weekend with my baby although we didnt go anywhere new.

Soon it'll be Monday and that's the worst day of the week ever.
But it's also the last week of the month which means payroll week.

Good night for now!
I'm getting quite busy recently but i'll be back.

Loves,
Janelle Zhen

2009-08-13T01:29:00.006+08:00

Though today it's already 12th of August, but still, i would like to mention Happy Birthday to Singapore. I was glad to be celebrating that very day together with our fellow Singaporeans and maybe tourists who happened to be here in our country for a holiday.

Furthermore, baby and i were back from our 2D1N Batam trip yesterday and spent a total amount of $233 which includes accommodation, ferry tickets, leisure and meals. Did not take photos throughout as we do not have a place to keep it and would be inconvenient to bring it around as we might be going to the water. Therefore, we kept it safely in the safe box of the hotel.

However, i managed to take photos of the pizza that we had during the 2nd day after we checked out.

I am not lying but this was the best ever pizza baby and i had ever eaten till this day. Don't be fooled by the cheese and green pepper as all the meat are hidden beneath it. What made it even perfect was the crust. FANTASTIC!

I need to sleep now, dozing off soon.

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-08-08T18:23:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow will be National Day and i've always been loving this day. Love the celebration, the crowd and the fireworks.
Then, my relatives decided to have a family gathering at SIA club since we have not been gathering for long.
But i feel like watching the whole parade on the screen, hopefully there will be a place for us to enjoy the show.

Above all, baby and i have decided a last minute short getaway to Batam. We've booked a 2D1N crazy deal with Harris beach resort, departing on Monday 10th Aug. I have took a day leave on Tue 11th Aug.

Lastly, i am so looking forwad to tomorrow National Day.
It feels great to be a Singaporean and also definitely feels proud to be one.

XOXO,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-08-01T19:03:00.000+08:00

Time passes so quickly and it's 1st of August today, which also means pay day!
But unfortunately i have to clear my cheque, therefore it will only be credited into my account on next Monday.
Made plans to shop a little over this weekend but guessed i have to wait till next week.

Work is great and our first asean magazine will be out in the market soon in few days time.
Hopefully response is good for our company.

Anyway, i'm at baby's place now while waiting for him to be back home at night and then to my place.
Mummy went for a short trip on Thursday and she's back today.
I cant wait to see her later, before she flys off again next monday as well.

I'm not feeling well now, stomach keeps aching.

Have an enjoyable weekend! :)

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-07-24T00:29:00.002+08:00

I'm now very tired, as if i haven't been sleeping for days.
Totally non-stop yawning which is so sickening.
Getting late now so turning in soon.

My tonsillitis is not recovering anytime soon this time round.

Have a good night rest and tomorrow will be a brand new day!
Good night pals!

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-07-22T23:54:00.002+08:00

Doing lots of researching and planning.
Looking forward to that very day.

My baby lim.

Loves,
Janelle Zmj

2009-07-18T16:57:00.003+08:00

I've been resting at home for the third day and I'm getting bored of it. Taking medicine, sleep, take medicine again and then sleep. Didn't eat much as well due to the painfulness of my throat.

Wednesday was a start of our new module and i went alone as Bk was sick. As usual, school was fine but this time round the lecturer is quite humorous in the sense that she keeps laughing at her own words. Next lesson will be on next Monday. Looking forward to it as well.

Most probably, i need to request to end work earlier at 6pm instead of usual 6.30pm on Monday and Wednesday as i really cannot make it to class at 7pm. But of course, this means i have to start work earlier on these two particular day.

I want to watch Harry Potter soon!

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-07-17T18:55:00.002+08:00

I was given 2 days MC for yesterday and today.
Doctor wanted to give me till Sunday but it wasn't necessary as i'm not working on weekends.

And why is that so?
Because tonsillitis is back which usually takes 4 days to recover and this time round my fever goes as high as 39 degree. What makes it worse was that mum went overseas, with me being alone. I didn't sleep well, kept waking up every now and then. Definitely feeling very terrible.
If only, i have the courage to remove it.

Luckily baby came back to bring me to the doctor.

Mummy shorten her trip and she's coming back today.

2009-07-15T11:48:00.002+08:00

Have been quite busy these few days, therefore neglected this website of mine.
Mummy is going to overseas again and i really hate it to be home alone.

I'm now in the office and ying is out for appointment.
It's lunch time soon but quite sick of the food here, almost eating the same thing everyday. Sigh.

Anyway, will be right back. :)

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-07-07T01:09:00.003+08:00

Today wasnt my day!

My handphone was collected in the afternoon and realised that new problems occurred which made my phone in a total mess. For example, if a call comes in and when i press the answer button, instead of answering it, it actually rejected the call. And if i key in numbers manually, the 'Phone Status' screen kept appearing. There are many more issues but at this very moment i cant remember any of it.

Servicing of phone was supposed to get something repaired and done up but now, i believe what others said were true. Phones that were sent in for servicing, 90% of them will landed up having more problems.

This is the 3rd time my phone went in for service within 2 months.
Luckily that the warranty still valid, if not, i'm going to spend a bomb!

Now, i'll just have to wait patiently till Sony Ericsson calls me with regards of the actual collection date.

How not to get pissed?
Damn it!

Anyway, good night.
Have to work tomorrow.

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-07-05T04:01:00.005+08:00

Hi people,

I'm back home from Bedok after chilling with Gbelle, Ru & Min.
Feeling very sleepy again and like always!
I should catch some rest soon.

I don't know what and where went wrong, which made me exhausted inside out. I wonders if history is going to repeat itself? Felt uneasy just by thinking of this question and i seriously hope that it wont. Maybe i need to build up my level of confidence towards this matter. Fate lies in our hands, what happens in the future are all depends on what you have chosen. One wrong step and thats it.
But i strongly believe that everything will be fine.

Alright, i have to wake up early in the morning to meet up with baby and left with not much time to sleep.
So, i shall go to bed now.

Tomorrow will be a better day.
Sweet dreams pals.

Loves,
Janelle ZMJ

2009-07-04T03:01:00.003+08:00

Have i not been updating for nearly a week? Haha.

Anyway, today's work is fine and perfectly well.
Had lunch with Ying at the hawker centre opposite Golden Mile and then back to office. Unknowingly, i peeped at the time and it's time to knock off. Time passes very quickly today.

Met up with Ru & Bk at Bugis, headed over to Parklane for some L4D sessions and Baby came over to join us too.
Then, we made our way back.

Definitely a tiring day for me and my eyes seems to be closing soon.
Struggling to keep myself awake now but i think that is not possible.

On a side note, I'm so pissed off as my hand phone is giving me exactly the same problem as the previous time. After servicing, same issue occurred. I guess it's time for me to make a trip down to Sony Ericsson's Servicing Centre again!

So alright, goodnight pals.
Take good care. :)

Loves,
Janelle

2009-06-29T22:43:00.006+08:00

Thank you for those who bought the cake and sang birthday song for me.

Anyway, i've patched things up with my baby boy, Charles, and we watched Transformer 2 last weekend. It is definitely a nice movie.

I've been having serious mood swings these few days and alot of stuffs are running through my mind. I am wondering this question, "Am i needed around my friends?".
The answer i've been getting are negative. I know that my friends dont need me and I am always left out somewhere. They have their groups of close friends but yet i fits nowhere. I've been trying very hard very hard to blend in but always seems to be impossible. They cant live without each other and they need each other alot as a friend. But for me? Well, i guess none of my friends will drop tears for me even if i am no longer in this world. Bec at the end of the day, they will just say,
"Meijuan was only my friend what, also not very close."

Please ask yourself, is the above true?

That's why.

2009-06-24T16:33:00.007+08:00

My birthday soon! Haha

2009-06-20T03:04:00.001+08:00

Last night after my BTT together with Charles, headed down to Bedok reservior and met up with my group of ladies. Chatted happily and laughing away, then went back home.

So while i was home, during wee hours around 2plus 3am, high fever suddenly strike me again which made me felt terrible throughout and made a trip down to the 24 hours clinic at 201 which the doctor gave me an injection. My gastric is really giving me great problem. Therefore, i couldnt make it down to the photoshoot today.
Sorry to my dear Ru and Gbelle.

Anyway, sad to say that, i failed my BTT yesterday. Sigh.
I should blame myself for not taking the e-trial.
But not to worry, i will book it again! :)

I am starting my new job soon!
Anxious.

2009-06-18T17:01:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday Eelin!

Yesterday night met up with Bk, Gbelle and Ru to Coasta Sand Chalet.
That chalet was to celebrate Eelin's birthday and for Fung before he enlist into NS on next Monday. It was fun and nice. :)

Last night went to consult a doctor as well, as i nearly fainted. So i was told by him that for the next 2 weeks, i am supposed to eat only porridge and soupy food.
Gosh! How am i going to do that?

Anyway, tomorrow having Basic Theory Test and next monday starting my new job.
Hopefully everything goes well.
God bless me!

I need a hair cut soon,
I want to put on braces soon!
And i need a deep set eyes as well.
Anyone together?

Preparing to go out now.
Goodbye my dear friends and have a nice day!

Loves,
Janelle.

2009-06-15T06:15:00.003+08:00

I had enough of your fucking nonsense!
I'm out of breathe.
Stop it!
Stop it please!

For that moment everything was fine, do not once again force me till the end.

2009-06-15T01:55:00.004+08:00

First of all, sad to say, my Tonsillitis is back!
And this illness have been with me for like few years?
I know it is very common in Singapore but though it still hurts whenever it comes. Can you imagine? With those high fever, sore throat and eventually became ulcers at the throat area. Luckily, i still have some antibiotics left over from the previous time. Maybe i should really go for the minor surgery to remove the lumps.
I should not eat any spicy and heaty food and should sleep early but i cant control it.

Please let me recover soon.

Exams coming!
Will be meeting Bk on Tuesday after her work and do our revision together.
Most probably at her place?

Alright, going to sleep now!
Have to really rest early.

2009-06-11T01:37:00.002+08:00

First of all, good news for myself!
I have been accepted by the company which i went for interview yesterday.
But they want me to start on 22nd June which is still quite sometime away.
Who cares though, at least i am going to be employed once again.
Till then, i have been jobless for about one month.
Thank god that i will be back to working life soon.

Anyway, it's nearly 2am and time for me to go down to meet up with Fung and the rest to slack.

Good night pals.
Till my next update, have a good day ahead.

2009-06-10T04:30:00.005+08:00

Earlier in the day, went for an interview as Sales executive in those Corporate sales and i like it alot. Hopefully i am shortlisted? But the latest i can know of the outcome is by the end of this week.

Now adays, i have been sleeping very late and yet waking up quite early. It's definitely less than 8 hours of sleep. And now i am having those sickening dry cough.
I guess i really have to turn in earlier.

How to stay healthy when i am pissed off almost everyday!?
Fuck.

2009-06-07T01:17:00.002+08:00

Hi there, here i am once again.
Back from those endless interviews.
Hopefully i can get a job soon though i had a few openings on hand.

Yesterday, met up with Bk for our night classes and after that we headed down to PLAY with Nic, Fung and Ying. It's a very interesting and fun place! I will definitely want to go there again!

And for now, i am very pissed off about something else.

2009-06-05T03:09:00.001+08:00

For god sake, i am freaking worn out!

2009-06-02T00:42:00.005+08:00

Everything is in a perfect mess.
Committing suicide is not an option but how not to?
I am freaking tired and stressed up.
Fuck my world.
Sigh.

Went for studio shoot on last Friday, Charles accompanied me there and he used my phone to take pictures at the back.

And on last Sat, went to Eelin's wedding dinner.
Congratulations! :)

Gbelle

Atha.

2009-05-28T01:27:00.002+08:00

I am very tired with what's going on.
Why do i have to make choices between what that is not of the same meaning?
Why do you have to mess up my life once again?

Since you were so determined about leaving that time,
why are you insisting on coming back?

Dont force me for an answer i need time in everything.

2009-05-27T01:53:00.008+08:00

Having a serious headache and once again it seems to be too much for me to handle!
There are just a pile of things waiting for me to do yet i can hardly find time.
I think i really need to start managing my time well before it gets messed up into a deep shit.

Why does life is all about making decisions and choices?
Somehow i wish my life would be simpler and easier to live in but came to think of it, if life does not have any complications, will you get to understand the actual definition of life?

Are we living for ourselves or are we living for money?

Why do we need to work?
Yes, to earn more money.

And why do we need to earn money?
Obviously, to achieve our dreams.

So why does dreams got to do with money?
Because everything in this world needs money!

Of course, there are still many things on this earth whereby money cannot be measured.
For example, relationships between humans.
Its value is priceless.

2009-05-21T12:54:00.011+08:00

Remember i did mention that Bk and i enrolled for a part time course at PSB Academy?
Our class have started and lecturer is so humorous that makes learning interesting. Lessons will be held on every Monday & Wednesday, 7pm-10pm. It will definitely be tiring working and studying at the same time but though, you will get to enjoy the sweetness once bitter is over.
Endurance and well time management is what i needed to overcome all obstacles.
So as to fulfil our dreams and ambitions, we can do it.

Oh ya on the side note, i have FINALLY went down and booked my Basic Theory for Class 3 Manual on 19 June 09. Hopefully it will not be too long to get my license as i have already wasted almost 1 year of my time since i turned 18.

OK anyway, photos that were supposed to be uploaded 2 weeks back.
Birthday celebration for Min & Atha.

Steamboat at East Coast.
Ger, Myself, Bk, Min.

Gbelle.

Min & her boyfriend.

Cutting of birthday cake at Henderson wave.

Wondering why am i not in this photo?
Alright, i am the one taking it.

Random one taken on the same day.

Meeting up with Fung soon and i got to prepare now.
Goodbye pals.

2009-05-19T00:59:00.002+08:00

I have been so worn out every single day.
And the stress level of certain issues are increasing.

Seems like everything are out of place in my life.

2009-05-11T03:40:00.003+08:00

Happy Mothers' Day!

Last night, went clubbing with my lovely sisters and friends at Rebel.
Aftermath, had our supper and finally back home to sleep.

So mum and i went over to Tampines Mall for our dinner at Seoul Garden just now which obviously i paid for it and the price seems to be increasing. But still, we had a fulfilling dinner there.

Till now, i am still looking for job.

2009-05-04T10:50:00.000+08:00

I'm now in the office covering recept duty till 11am as our receptionist on MC so everyone took turns. I swear i am very super duper sleepy and it have been very long since i felt this tired. While i was in the pantry, i totally cant concentrate on what i am doing and nearly fell down while walking back to my desk. And once back to my desk, i was staring into the space forcing my eyes to open.

It is a torture to stay awake!

2009-05-03T17:44:00.008+08:00

Sunday is here and i just do not understand why does weekends usually have to pass so fast like a blink of eyes. Unknowingly, it always passes so quickly when fun and laughter can be heard or found. And sickeningly, it always passes so slowly when boredom and unhappiness involved, which sucks big time.

I have been awake for nearly 24hours till now and yet i am still wide awake. Ever since i stepped into working society, i came to realise that weekends are actually very important and i would not want to waste any tiny bit of it. Maybe it is true that we must live our weekends to the fullest and once Monday arrives, we continue burying ourselves into work. Lets play hard and work smart.

Alright, some outdated photos taken from:-

Mabel's wedding

Huining's wedding

Cab to East Coast for cycling.

Some random weekday.

Off to cook instant noodle for dinner.
Good bye!

P/s: I miss my natural straight hair.

2009-05-03T08:37:00.002+08:00

It is daylight and i totally had a sudden crazy cravings for so many different kinds of food.
Let's see what is on my mind now!

Breakfast.
Maybe some delicious fried bee hoon mix fried noodle with curry sauce and fish fillet plus hotdog? Or maybe peanuts porridge with extra peanuts and mix you tiao with it?

Then for lunch, maybe Korean bbq chicken set or laksa yong tau hu? Why not some fantastic roasted chicken rice? How about down to Pepper lunch for their chicken pepper rice?

And for dinner! Yes, it should be steamboat with teppenyaki at the side!

How about supper? Definitely it goes without saying, Nasi goreng Ikan Billis!

Alright, obviously those above mentioned are just my cravings for no particular reason and some food are even craved for many months.

2009-04-22T20:14:00.004+08:00

Hey people.
This will be a wordy post about my marriage and work.

Some close friends of mine should be aware that I have decided to give my ex bf, Charles, another chance. Bec after this recent break up, we realised how much we needed each other and if this break up did not happen, i doubt we will learn how to cherish our relationship. I believe that he will keep his promise and be a better man.

P/S: We have finalised our date to get ROM on 20-10-2010 next year but after that we still live separately at our own house, maybe weekends stay over at each other place until i am 21yrs old in 2011, we will proceed to get a resale flat of our own and live together. So if thing goes well, by end of 2012 we should have our flat then finally able save up to have our wedding dinner which is 3-4yrs later.

So if someone actually say that we are still young and financially not stable should not get married, i definitely will tell that person off. We decided to get married is bec we felt that our relationship is ready and able to enter into another step of life. It's not as if we are having any kids so soon. Our status will change to married but our life is still the same like normal. Although we will have more commitments but overall we still have our own job to support ourselves.

I have told mummy about it and she agreed of our idea about ROM and buying flat as long as i dont get myself pregnant so early before building my career.
So now only depends on what his side says.

On a side note, work is stressing me up like hell. There is lots of internal changes and office politics going on in my company. Everyone is climbing over each other to survive. And maybe i am new, somehow i tends to get involve into some issues whereby i totally have no idea how am i related to those matter. Anyway, the best way to avoid such nonsense is to keep a low profile.
Those ignorant people may laugh or mock at me now, bec who knows maybe 3 years down the road, it will be them reporting to me at work. I have to work 2 times harder than others and have confidence in myself.

2009-04-17T23:22:00.003+08:00

I have not been blogging for a long long period.

Work is really so damn tiring.
I came to realise that freight forwarding is really a tough industry.
I am so stress at work that i cried once at the staircase behind my office and had the urge of arguing with my assistant manager but i controlled.
Due to the fact that i am still very new in this line therefore i have to learn and absorb many things as soon as possible. I hate the most is office politics and could not understand why human cant be as simple as possible.
Maybe that is what working life is all about.

I am giving myself 3 years to gain experience in that company and off i will go to a better prospect company. Of course, in the same industry.

I will never give up. Now is my chance to secure my career in future.

Anyway, my ex boyfriend, Charles, promised to change to be a better man and husband. I can tell that he's putting in alot of effort for the changes. But still, i am observing him. I will definitely give him a chance if everything goes well.
I love him very much and that's nothing i can deny.
My baby Charles always.

2009-04-12T01:51:00.003+08:00

Met charles together with Nic, Bk and Ying last night.

Good night.

2009-04-03T03:05:00.004+08:00

As usual, I was very very busy at work!
But it's Friday tomorrow, which means it is the last working day of the week!
I love weekends!

Met up for dinner after work at bedok and proceeded to somewhere near harbour front.
I would say, i had a good day.

It's 3.15am now and i have to wake up at 7am.
Hopefully i can make it in time to work without being late.
But seriously, no matter how early i sleep, i am still late almost everyday since last week. Oh my oh my, i need to do something in order for me to keep my job! :)

I think i am down with flu.
Probably, sleep more is the solution.

2009-03-31T23:32:00.002+08:00

I had a very super busy day!
Tired and sick is all i can describe.

I need a long and good sleep badly!
And i swear i can fall asleep in just 10 seconds.
This shows how tired i am!

On a lighter note,
I am doing good and kicking well.
At any point of time, i am ready to set off!

GO GO GO!

2009-03-30T23:03:00.002+08:00

I am late for work again today!
No idea why but i dont seems to be able to wake up on time recently.

I have to starting buying lots of alarm clock and put it one by one all the way till the toilet. Guess i will just landed up covering the pillow over my ears and continue with my sleep.

Any kind soul loves giving morning calls?
And would not mind abt calling alot of times?

Haha.

2009-03-26T21:07:00.007+08:00

We've officially broken up.
We've came to this point whereby it's the maximum of everything and can no longer be back like last time.

We started dating since 27 January 2007 and ended 24 March 2009.
Together for nearly 2years and 2 months.

I enjoyed every moment spent with him and he's my greatest love of all.
He initiated it and i hope he'll be happy.

Look ahead and get on with my life is what i would do.
I've gotten all my thoughts straight.
No point pondering and being sad on what that will never happen again.
All the best to him and myself.

Meeting up my girlfriends later!

Some overdue photos taken on 13 March 09.
It was my colleague last day in our company.

2009-03-23T01:07:00.002+08:00

Have been really really busy during these 2 weeks with friends wedding.
I will upload both of their wedding photos together on the next post.
Have to get the remaining of it from their camera.

So stay tuned!

2009-03-14T23:08:00.002+08:00

It have been almost a week in my new company and so far, things are still going well. But my office is quite political so ya, just have to ignore and do my part. Anyway, my job is fun yet stressful and there are still many things i yet to learn.

On a happier note, i'm at ning's place now as it will be her wedding tomorrow and a few ladies and i will be here overnight. I am feeling excited and fun.

AND i am looking forward to another 2 of my friends wedding.
:)

2009-03-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT?

I passed my interview!
Will be starting on coming Mon.
Every Mon-Fri, 8.30am-6pm.

Hmmm, kinda nervous though!

2009-03-05T23:17:00.006+08:00

With regards to my previous post, i decided to quit this current job and therefore tomorrow will be my last employment day in that company.

So why am i leaving that job?

My 1 month probation period is up and by right i should get my employment letter but when i asked my direct boss, he said he was really busy and dont have the time to draft out the letter.

When i asked if he applied the deduction of CPF for me yet, he said he will read up about the details. Till now, not completed.

I have 2 bosses and both of them actually have their own family businesses to run, so that makes me wonder why would they want to open this company? (Established in Sep 2008)
Anyway, i arranged a few meetings for one of my bosses with our potential clients and when the day arrived, he called me and told me that he need to help out with his parents' side and couldnt make it for those meetings. I called those clients and wanted to postpone it and well, they must be thinking we are not sincere and canceled the whole thing! Awesome?

Everytime dont want to come in to the office and moreover it's so damn bloody difficult to reach them. Where's their effort? Oh my!

The list will seriously go on and on.
Enough of it!

On the side note, here is my photo with permed hair.
Somehow, i felt that i looked older.

I will help out with mum's business first till i get a new job.

Having a job interview tomorrow!
HOPEFULLY i can pass it!

Baby, Baby & Baby!
I miss you!

2009-03-03T10:59:00.003+08:00

I am going to perm my hair later at 12pm.
It is also the first time i change my hairstyle in my whole life as i usually only dye hair.

Quite nervous as i wonder what's the outcome.

I will upload the photos when i am back tonight. :)

2009-03-02T16:03:00.003+08:00

I have that sudden urge of changing job.
But on the second thought, maybe it's not very wise to do it.

The people here are fine and we got along quite well.
I think partly is bec it's a very small company that only consists of 2 bosses and 3 staffs (including myself). But 1 of my bosses is really damn stingy. Oh my!

So anyway, the main dislike i have towards this job is the working timing.
Ok, it's still 9 hours a day including lunch break and 5 days a week.
11.30am-8.30pm on weekdays and 9-6pm on weekends. Off days on Tue and Sun.
The problem is i usually reach home at 10pm after work on weekdays,have to quickly bath and prepare to sleep for the next day. The timing is like so rushing and weird!! SHIT!

Never mind, i just need to release some unhappiness.

2009-02-27T23:33:00.002+08:00

I hate my life now and i really do.
It wasnt what it is supposed to be.

I think i am so useless.
Am i?

Please grant me more courage to make more decision.
Once decision made, my life will be so much better.

2009-02-15T23:03:00.006+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!
So how's everyones day?

Well, i had mine celebrated at baby's place.
After knocking off from my work, headed to baby's place to have steamboat.
It was prepared by his mum and was totally awesome!
I enjoyed my day as it was heartwarming.

Received a bouquet of blue flowers by surprise from baby.
It was our third valentine's and hopefully there will be more.

Photos of the flower to be uploaded soon.

Working again tomorrow!
Tired.

2009-02-14T12:25:00.002+08:00

Apparently, we are still together.
But seriously, it felt a little strange.

We agreed on being together first and if it still doesn't works, we shall split.
The next split shall be the last and only split.
I have to be determined and have my stand.
Only the strongest will survive, i cant be weak anymore.

Our future lies between us.
It's either we turn for the better and closer or worsen.
We shall see.

For the time being,
Happy Valentines Day baby.

2009-02-13T15:24:00.003+08:00

I really hate myself.
Why am i so soft hearted?
Why cant i just let this relationship go like how he can?
He said if he had a choice he sure leave.
But i'm trying hard not to let him go.

I feel like crying so much now but i cant bec i'm in the office.
Do you know how terrible it felt to control your tears?
Those bloody tears just want to gush out but i kept locking them.

He felt tortured being with me.
I felt sad knowing the person i love told me his feelings faded.

How perfect is my life now?
Anyone envy me?
What a joke.

2009-02-12T17:06:00.003+08:00

My left eye have been swelling since last Sunday and when i woke up this afternoon, it was even more painful and swollen.

Mummy told me it was 'zhen yen' like a growth at the eye lid which mostly likely due to heatiness. It's so damn painful can.

Anyway, will be attending Huining's wedding on this coming Sat and next month it will be Mabel's wedding.
In our group there are still 8 unmarried ones including me.
So who will be the next? :)

Currently, i have been so busy with work.
And the timing really quite sucks.

Why cant life be simplier and easier to live in?
It felt strange.

2009-02-12T02:11:00.006+08:00

Maybe you're right, you once said that i am only deceiving myself and came to think about it, ya i am convincing myself all these while.

Convincing myself that although you always wants to leave but you still loves me alot thats why i begged you to stay.
Convincing myself that you need me in your life.
Convincing myself that we are meant for each other.
Convincing myself that as long as we love each other, everything would be fine.

But actually, is me myself need you in my life and cant lose you.
You said we are not suitable but who born to be suitable for each other? You said 2years plus already yet keep quarrelling.

Others took more than that to try and settled down, moreover we are only together for 2years plus and you're giving up?

How much tears i shed for you all these while?
How much pain i had throughout?

You kept asking me that since i am so not happy about this and that then why still keep wanting to be with you?

Isnt the answer obvious?
It's bec i love you.

If i dont love you, would i bother to endure it?
Which relationship doesnt go through ups and downs?
To you, your friends and i are equally important.
But to me, you knew that i place you on top of my life.
This is something i can really swear about.

You always wanted to leave and me always begging you to stay therefore you're taking me for granted.

What i cannot take it the most is when i cry badly, feeling so heartbroken yet you dont care and dont feel anything about it. This hurts me the most out of anything else. This totally shows me that you dont care about me anymore and this really hurts alot.

No one will ever love you as much as i do, in your whole life.
We shall see.
You said you want to be friends so are you finally happy now?
God knows and you yourself knows how much i love you.

You're really losing me.
Baby, we're over.

2009-02-05T14:48:00.003+08:00

I have only started work for one week but it seems like i have been there for years. Things awaiting me to do are piling up and never ending. It's a small and newly set up company but at least i'm glad that my colleagues are friendly. The good working enviornment actually motivates me alot in work.
But just too tiring.

Will be starting my Part Time Course soon in May together with Bk and Min.
Looking forward to it! :)

I miss babycharles.
He's booking out tomorrow and go home together when i knock off at night.
Baby baby baby i'll be seeing you soon.

2009-02-02T00:32:00.003+08:00

Last night went to Powerhouse with baby and co. to celebrate ah han's birthday. Birthday boy was drank so all of us left early and back home.

I have been so so busy with work.
So so many things are waiting for me to do.
I need more of my beauty sleep, i cant wait till my off day.
But it's only the starting of the week.
Oh my oh my!

Uploaded some outdated photos that were taken on CNY Day 1 at baby's place and Day 3 at fung yong's place.

Day 3 at fy's place.

Day 1 at baby's place.

2009-01-28T02:17:00.002+08:00

Have been busy these few days and i am so lack of sleep.
I need to replenish my beauty sleep!
But tomorrow will be equally busy as i'll be back to work.

Anyway, baby and i are getting better now.
At least we did not quarrel and slowly turning to how sweet we are in the past.
Humans tends to be irrational when caught in anger but luckily we tried rather than giving up. Cool down and having a right state of mind is the solution.
That's a good sign. :)

Very sleepy.
Good night!

2009-01-26T04:50:00.003+08:00

What exactly am i thinking and doing?

It's almost 5 in the morning but i am still blogging.
I wanted to sleep so much but was afraid that my eyes would be very swollen the next day. It was yet another hurtful night which was full of heated arguments which led to quarrels.

He said he's sick of it, he wants to leave, he wants to end it with me once and for all, he wants to say goodbye forever and his feelings for me loses so much till there's no longer love, only left with feelings towards me. It doesn't matters anymore whether i am sad or cry because he said he don't care anymore and i am ruining his life. He felt very tortured in this relationship because he thinks that i tied him down too much and i am always complaining about this and that and many things else.

Eventually, we're still together now.
I told him to wait for another 3 days, by then, he can make any decision he wants.
I can't take any blow at this point of time.

I admit that probably i did tie him down a little too much which mostly are about going out stuffs as i felt quite insecure which tends to think that he have low resistance towards any kind of temptations.

But with regards to the complaining about this and that, i don't agree! Though i do voice out whatever that i am unhappy about but i don't leave him because i love him and have to accept his flaws. I know that no one is perfect in this world but because i accepts his flaws and therefore, in my eyes, he's the very perfect one!
So would he rather choose to have a partner whereby she complains and always leave? Like that doesn't means she really love you what if not she'll learn to accept.

It takes 2 hands to clap in order to keep a quarrel going so we both have a part in it. Of course, i am also sick of the constant quarrels but i am still holding on. Believe that we'll be back like how we used to be for the past 2 years. In order to succeed, i have to be confident.

It wasn't easy to build a relationship and it's even much harder to maintain it. Since we came to almost 2 years, why let it go like a waste. There's always up and down, up and down like a wave.

I love him too much till it's very difficult for me to put down.
I understand that once you have started a relationship, you must learn to let it go but unfortunately i really cant. Since i've already put in so much, i'll try my best to salvage everything.

Am i stupid or what? I've no idea.
What i know is, i did all these all out of the word l-o-v-e.

I felt hurt, very hurt.
I cried, cried badly.
It was exhausting, i am not that strong.
I need his comfort, if only it's possible right now.

Somehow somewhere, Deep down deep down i believe he still loves me.
I wish, i really wish, our relationship is turning for the better soon.

2009-01-24T22:43:00.003+08:00

I fell sick last night but quickly took medicine.

This is definitely not the right time to be ill as i wish to taste those delicious food! I pretty much love having Ba Gua, in particular the store located at Chinatown!

Anyway, i am really really looking forward to tomorrow's reunion steamboat with mummy.

I am so lack of sleep.
Good night!

My lovely baby Charles.
I Love you.

2009-01-23T17:55:00.002+08:00

After many days of spring cleaning yet there are still many things to be cleared and cleaned.

Mummy suggested to go Ntuc tonight for groceries and reunion dinner food.

I love to shop for groceries!
And i am looking forward to our reunion dinner.

2009-01-22T21:46:00.003+08:00

Last night was ladies night and we went to Powerhouse.
Though yesterday the songs are not that enjoyable but we still danced throughout.

After the club, we walked over to Vivo and had Mac delivered over as we were too hungry. We sat on the bench, ate and chit chatted.
Time passes so fast and it was close to morning.

The most important thing was, i had a great company of girlfriends.
Having them around was real fun.

It was a girls night out.

Inside the club.

Outside Vivo.